Several years ago, while serving in a corporate leadership role, I attended a training session that has stayed with me ever since. The facilitator intentionally avoided controversial topics and instead used a simple example: right-handed and left-handed people. In a room of nearly 200 leaders, he asked the right-handed people, “How often do you think about being right-handed?” Almost everyone answered, “Never.” Then he asked the left-handed people, “How often do you think about being left-handed?” Almost every left-handed person answered, “Every day.”

What surprised me most was not the answers, but the reaction. The right-handed people were genuinely shocked by the answers from the left-handed people. As a left-handed person, I understood immediately. Every time I sign an electronic signature pad and the cord is attached on the right side, I am reminded that most people experience the world differently than I do. The lesson I learned that day was simple: every one of us belongs to both in-groups and out-groups. The challenge is not being in the in-group. The challenge is recognizing that our experience is not everyone's experience.

The same is true in life, ministry, and our churches. Married and single adults, young parents and grandparents, shift workers and retirees, long-time members and first-time guests often experience the same church very differently. Healthy relationships begin with humility. They grow when we listen well and remember that our experience is real, but it is not universal. We truly are better together.